Our Journey

As many of my friends know we struggled for over 2yrs to conceive Emma. It was one of the most painful,heartbreaking journeys I'd ever been on. You lose yourself,you lose hope,you lose everything "good" you ever knew in your life and it consumes you completely. Thankfully our journey had a happy ending but so many others don't. Thankfully with medical advances and doctors that can do amazing things our daughter is here,otherwise she wouldn't be,period. In a way I'm proud to say we went through IVF. I learned so much about myself and about my marriage. When I first started trying to conceive,I thought "this won't be a problem,3 months tops!" Boy was I wrong. As the months ticked on the fear started to set in than the heartbreak and soon after the questions of "why me", "what next" and "will I ever hold another baby in my arms?" when not knowing the answer to those questions it makes it that much harder. In fact I couldn't even let the thought of never getting pregnant enter into my head,it was too hard of a reality to let sink in at that time. So I started reading and finding all the information I could on infertility and conception. After we found out IVF was our only hope I researched doctors,statistics and protocols..any and everything you could think of pertaining to IVF.

There is a video that touched my soul and explained my feelings exactly when we were TTC. When someone would say "oh it will happen" or "just relax" I wanted to scream!!! But to be honest I never could grasp what someone with infertility was going through until I went through it myself. It will always and forever be a part of who I am,I will never forget the struggles and heartache and finally the joy. Everyday I look at my daughter and the miracle of who she is and it takes my breath away. The love I feel for her makes my heart hurt..

So this video is for anyone who has or is dealing with infertility..I hope one day,your journey comes to a peaceful end,however that may be.

For those who are not,well I hope this helps you understand,just a little,what someone with infertility goes through,how they feel and how unbelievably hard it is to deal with..because truly all we want is understanding,not advice ,just your ear and your heart to open up and try to grasp this horrible journey called "Infertility"...

http://www.tearsandhope.com/emptyarms_video.html

I will end this entry with a picture of my beautiful,amazing daughter,Emma. Words can't begin to describe how grateful I am for this beauty that has come into our lives. I have to say,the one thing positive out of this experience (other than her of course) , is realizing just how precious life is and to never take one day or moment for granted, and to cherish the miracle that life is and what it gives us. It's so easy to take for granted and because of my journey,that is something I do not do,and for that I'm grateful.